Book: Losing Faith
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Publication Date: June 10, 2016
Length: 200 pages
Reviewed by Morningstar
Father Cullen Kiley, a gay Episcopal priest on hiatus from the church, decides to take his boat, T-Time, from Provincetown, Massachusetts, to Southport, North Carolina, a place that holds an abundance of bittersweet memories for him. While on a run his first day in Southport, Cullen comes upon a man sitting on a park bench staring out over the Cape Fear River with his Bible in hand. The man’s body language reeks of defeat and desperation, and unable to ignore his compassion for his fellow man, Cullen stops to offer a helping hand.
Southport Baptist Church’s Associate Pastor, Abel Weston, has a hard time managing his demons. When they get too overwhelming, he retreats to Southport’s Historic Riverwalk with his Bible in hand and stares out over the water, praying for help and guidance that never seem to come. But Abel soon discovers that help and guidance come in many forms.
An unexpected friendship develops between the two men, and as Cullen helps Abel begin to confront his doubts and fears, he comes face-to-face with his own reality, threatening both their futures.
I fell in love with this story. There is nothing else that can describe how I felt reading this story. Straight from the Preface to the last page Scotty Cade created a story that simultaneously broke my heart and made me feel hope. I feel like it takes a certain kind of writer to write realistically about religion without it bogging down the story or turning into a preachy book. Scotty more than accomplishes this in Losing Faith!
Try putting yourself in a place of such loss that you are no longer actually living but merely existing, walking away from the one place that gave you peace because you feel betrayed, living a lie because of how you were brought up tells you that being true to yourself is wrong, or fighting everyday not only with yourself but with the people that you gave solace.
Cullen Kiley is a Episcopal priest who has been on a break from the church for the last 2 years after what he sees as a complete falling out with his faith. He decides to take his boat T-Time on a much needed vacation from his home in Massachusetts to Southport, North Carolina. A route and place he is not unfamiliar with. One that brings many bittersweet memories that he would much rather not think about. Ones he has avoided thinking about for the last 2 years. When finally decides that maybe moving onto another port that doesn’t hold such memories he comes upon Abel Weston sitting on a bench holding a bible looking...defeated. There is no way he can just run past this man without offering him the help he think he needs.
“He silently begged his legs to keep going, but it was no use. The damn things had a mind of their own and stopped right in front of the bench.”
Abel Weston an Associate Pastor at Southport Baptist Church has been fighting with himself for what feels like forever. When these feelings become too much he finds solace at the Riverwalk while sitting on a bench holding his bible praying for guidance. But he’s been finding himself more and more sitting on that bench still waiting for the guidance that never comes. Abel has had a rough life but has come out the other side a strong man with a life and people that at one time gave him purpose.
Cullen shook Abel’s hand and then impulsivity laid his other hand over Abel’s “And remember. Whatever you’re praying for, I know if you look deep enough in here, you’ll find all the right answers.”
While Cullen is trying to avoid his issues he is drawn to Abel in a way he can’t explain. He wants to be there for Abel to help him talk out his problems but what ends up happening is the building a new friendship. A friendship that on the surface is the thing they both seem to need but underneath something more is building. Something that Cullen isn’t ready for and that could cause Abel to lose everything.
“What a smile. If this is what he looks like while he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, he must light up the universe when he’s carefree.”
Back to my first point...I fell in love with this story! That just needed to be said again. Scotty is not a new to me author and I have loved all of his other books that I’ve read but this one is EVERYTHING!! There are just so many feels in this one. You go back and forth from heartbroken to hopeful to love then add a dose of sexy! Yes sexy but it’s beautiful! Cullen and Abel have this connection that you can feel right from when they first meet on that bench on the Southport Riverwalk. That connection keeps Cullen from running even if he doesn’t understand why. And watching Cullen struggle with moving on from the past or staying on his current path because of this connection with Abel was both heart wrenching and hopeful! Abel is scared of the feelings that Cullen stirs in him but can’t get himself to walk away. Of course with any story that includes religion there are those that don’t like the friendship between these two men and boy do they pay a big part for Abel. Losing Faith is low angst, sweet, hopeful story of two men coming to a crossroads in their faith and life.
“A little lost. At a crossroads, maybe. And feeling forgotten and left behind, but other than that, I’m just dandy.”
Just read it! You will not be sorry! I promise.
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