Author: N.R. Walker
Self Published
Publication Date: May 23, 2019
Length: 300 pages
Reviewed by Sammy
Synopsis
Erik Keston, son of the Keston Real Estate empire, knows what it takes to be successful. Despite his inherent wealth, he holds his own. He works hard, he’s grounded, he’s brilliant. He’s also secretly in love with his best friend.
Monroe Wellman lost his parents three years ago and never grieved, never recovered. Inheriting the family company and wealth means nothing, and his spiral of self-destruction is widespread and spectacular. Dubbed Sydney’s bad boy, he spends more days drunk than sober, and the only person who’s stuck by him through it all is his best mate.
But when Monroe hits rock bottom, Erik gives him an ultimatum, and his entire world comes to a grinding halt. It’s not until the haze lifts that Monroe can truly see what he’s been searching for was never in the bottom of a bottle. It’s been by his side all along.
An 80,000-word friends-to-lovers story about fighting the demons within and trusting in the love that takes its place.
“Because when all you drink is hate, that’s all there is inside you.”
Review
The Hate You Drink
is an incredibly emotional journey from a life of addiction and self-hate to
sobriety and love—for self, for others and for the past that left behind such
open wounds and copious amounts of grief and pain. When Monroe loses his
parents in a plane crash, he is both unable and unready to assume the mantle of
CEO to a multi-million dollar corporation and buries his guilt and despair in
alcohol. By his side is his best friend, Erik. Erik, himself, comes from great
wealth and while that levels the playing field for both men there is a vast
difference in how they use that wealth and privilege. For Erik, his family is
an unwavering support and source of love and safety.
For Monroe, his deceased parents are the wellspring from
which his self-loathing and pain come. Without giving too much of the story
away, suffice it to say that Monroe’s parents were not happy that he was gay
and their relationship paled in comparison to Erik’s and his parents. But after
their death, the loss and guilt Monroe felt weighed him down and led him to the
bottle where he found some measure of relief and a false sense of control.
Manipulating Erik, who was in love with his best friend, was something Monroe
did with ease and little sense of remorse. So for three years Erik became
babysitter, cohort in crime, and fixer for Monroe—always there to help him when
he fell regardless of the toll it took on his heart and life. Monroe never
understood that Erik loved him—yet he also knew that the thought of a future
without Erik in it left him terrified. It takes Erik delivering an
ultimatum—their friendship or the bottle--for Monroe to finally accept he needs
help.
There is where we find the bulk of this story focusing—on
Monroe’s recovery and Erik’s as well. You see both are addicted—Monroe to booze
and Erik to Monroe and keeping him safe. It takes intensive therapy and time
apart for both men to come to terms with how to cope with their addictions and
to decide if they can continue to be a part of each other’s lives. In a
scorchingly honest and gritty journal-like story with alternating points of
view, we watch and learn as Erik and Monroe go through the next phase in their
relationship and fight to keep each other in their lives. For Monroe it means
acknowledging things that will tear him apart emotionally and make him realize
just how destructive his drinking has been to himself and those he loves. For
Erik it means placing some boundaries on how he views Monroe and the
all-consuming need to keep him happy at cost to his own well-being.
This is a tumultuous and draining novel but absolutely
brilliantly written. The way these two men grow and change throughout the
entire course of this story is breathtaking to read. The strength and
determination on Monroe’s part to fight his addiction and take back control of
his life might be painful to watch but it is exhilarating to see him succeed in
the end. The love Erik has for Monroe is so pure and deep—it was simply the
loveliest component of this novel.
The Hate You Drink
by N.R. Walker is a gorgeous story of redemption from pain, victory over
addiction and love that survives the hardest of challenges. I highly recommend
this novel to you.
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Ghosts of Kansas was the best book I read spooky.
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