Today, May 17th is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia. The Hop Against Homophobia Bi- and Transphobia is just one way to help spread awareness. The Hop has over 100 participants all helping spread the word that Homophobia is NOT okay. That whether you're 1 or 10 or 100 your voice matters and can help turn the tables. To learn more about International Day Against Homophobia, please check out their website: http://dayagainsthomophobia.org/
As a mother I decided I'd take my time on Hop to share a bit what it's like raising my children to not be homophobic. To love and not hate. To understand, learn.
As a parent I face daily challenges. “I can’t find
my shoes,” is a daily struggle in my house. There are homework dramas, friends
not getting along dramas, and the ever popular, I don’t want to eat that
dramas.
However, I’m a lucky person. My children are
amazing. They are kind. Your race, gender, preferences, mean nothing to them. I
am raising my children to love people. Not certain people, but all people.
One topic that has come up in my house is gay
rights. With the wait to hear from SCOTUS and my constant support; my children
hear me… children hear everything.
One day my son asked me, “What are you reading?” I
happen to be reading an article about Matthew Shepard at that time. I told him
exactly that. Of course he asked, “Who’s that?” So, I told him. I told him
because he wanted to know but more importantly I felt he needed to know. He was
appalled. And so the questions came more often.
“Why would someone do that?”
“Were the people who did that gay too?”
“Did Matthew attack them and they were defending
themselves?”
And then came the ultimate one. The one we all ask
all the time… “Mom, I don’t understand. Can you explain to me why they felt
they had to do that?”
Explaining homophobia to my children was harder than
I thought. Why? Because by their logic it didn’t make sense.
“Why are people afraid of homosexuality, Mom?” my
daughter asked. “It’s not like it can hurt you. It’s not contagious.” She’s 7
by the way.
“It’s why in the definition it’s referred to as an
irrational fear, sweetheart.”
“Maybe they should do their homework then. When I’m
afraid or don’t understand I ask you and daddy. Or I find a book and read it.
Maybe they are scared because they don’t understand.”
These are the moments I know I’m raising my children
right. I don’t teach them to JUST love everyone. To JUST respect everyone. I
explain both sides. Let them let it sink in and answer follow up questions for
them.
Children are sponges. Parents, grandparents,
guardians, teachers. They are the ones that influence how they will view the
world. Before they are tainted by social media and ALL of society’s opinions,
these are the people that will shape their views.
When you teach your child to hate. They will hate.
When you teach your child to love. They will love.
Fortunately, times are changing. People ARE
learning. Younger generations are fighting the older generations. And they are
so so smart.
The next time you look in the eyes of a child, of an
innocence and future that is, in that moment, shapeless, realize the power you
have in molding them.
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As I stated above there are many people participating in this Hop. Some with their own personal experiences. Others explaining lessons they have learned, and shared. Many are authors who write in this genre and have something to say. You can check them out, read posts, enter giveaways here: http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/
| 1. | Erica Pike (M/M) | 2. | Cherie Noel (M/M) |
| 3. | NJ Nielsen (M/M) | 4. | K-Lee Klein (M/M) |
| 5. | Bronwyn Heeley (M/M) | 6. | Chris McHart (Multi: M/M, TR) |
| 7. | Andrew J. Peters (GAY) | 8. | Prism Book Alliance (MM, FF, TR, Bi, Rev) |
| 9. | L.M. Brown (M/M) | 10. | Dianne Hartsock (M/M) |
| 11. | ScuttlebuttReviews (MM,FF,TR,BI,Rev) | 12. | Anne Barwell (M/M) |
| 13. | Anna Lee (M/M) | 14. | Draven St. James (M/M) |
| 15. | Anna Butler (M/M) | 16. | A.L. Wilson (M/M, Bi, TR) |
| 17. | Jacintha Topaz (BI F/F/M, F/F) | 18. | Blaine D. Arden (M/M, TR) |
| 19. | L. J. LaBarthe (M/M) | 20. | Iyana Jenna (M/M) |
| 21. | Kracken (M/M) | 22. | Victoria Zagar/Infinite Love (MULTI, REV) |
| 23. | Brandon Shire (Gay) | 24. | Lex Chase (M/M) |
| 25. | Amanda C. Stone (M/M) | 26. | Stephen del Mar (Gay) |
| 27. | JC Wallace (M/M) | 28. | Lasha's Reviews (REV) |
| 29. | Angela S. Stone (M/M) | 30. | Serena Akeroyd (M/M/F) |
| 31. | Marie Landry (F/F) | 32. | S.J. Frost (M/M) |
| 33. | Raythe Reign Publishing (M/M) | 34. | Susanna Hays (M/M) |
| 35. | Racheline Maltese & Erin McRae (GAY, BI, F/F, TR) | 36. | Kaje Harper (M/M, Bi) |
| 37. | Barbara Winkes (F/F) | 38. | Kat Fletcher (LES) |
| 39. | Moonbeams over Atlanta | 40. | Fever Dreams (Raven J. Spencer) |
| 41. | Kimber Vale (M/M) | 42. | Sexy Erotic Xciting~ Evelise Archer (M/M) |
| 43. | Amelia Bishop (MULTI) | 44. | Shayla Mist (M/M, DES) |
| 45. | Caddy Rowland(Gay)/Sibley Jackson (M/M) | 46. | Thursday Euclid (M/M) |
| 47. | Nic Starr (M/M) | 48. | Anastasia Vitsky (Governing Ana) (F/F, BI) |
| 49. | Blogger,reviewer,author, editor, promotion | 50. | Caraway Carter (M/M, Bi) |
| 51. | Grace R. Duncan (M/M, Bi) | 52. | Elin Gregory |
| 53. | Kade Boehme | 54. | Amberly Smith (M/M) |
| 55. | Remmy Duchene Mantasy (M/M) | 56. | L M Somerton (M/M) |
| 57. | Erin O'Quinn (M/M) | 58. | Lori Toland (M/M) |
| 59. | Tyler Robbins (M/M, M/M/M) | 60. | BFD Book Blog |
| 61. | BFD Book Blog (REV) | 62. | Crystal's Many Reviewers (M/M, F/F, TR, Bi, Rev) |
| 63. | Kenzie Mack (M/M, BI) | 64. | The Novel Approach Reviews |
| 65. | J.P. Bowie (M/M) | 66. | Devon Rhodes (M/M, Bi) |
| 67. | Thianna Durston (M/M) | 68. | Morticia Knight (M/M, Bi) |
| 69. | Bryl R. Tyne (M/M, TR, MULTI, F/F) | 70. | M.A. Church (M/M) |
| 71. | Books A to Z Book Blog | 72. | Catherine Lievens (M/M) |
| 73. | James Lee Hard (MM) | 74. | Eva Lefoy (M/M) |
| 75. | Matthew J. Metzger (MULTI) | 76. | Andrew Ashling (Gay) |
| 77. | Charley Descoteaux (MM, Bi) | 78. | Michael Mandrake |
| 79. | Kate Aaron (Gay) | 80. | DiverseReader (REV) |
| 81. | Hans M Hirschi (Gay, TR) | 82. | Aeryn Jaden (M/M) |
| 83. | Alex C.Clarke (M/M) | 84. | Louisa Bacio (M/M F/F Bi) |
| 85. | Talon ps & Princess so (MM, Bi, Poly, DES) | 86. | Tasha's Thinkings (M/M, Bi) |
| 87. | Christa Tomlinson (M/M) | 88. | Alexa Milne (M/M) |
| 89. | IndiGo Marketing & Design (DES) | 90. | Eva LeNoir (M/M) |
| 91. | A.V. Sanders (M/M) | 92. | B. Snow (MULTI) |
| 93. | Alexis Duran (M/M) | 94. | Dean Pace-Frech (M/M) |
| 95. | Lily G. Blunt (M/M, REV) | 96. | Joelle Casteel (MULTI) |
| 97. | Sage Marlowe (Gay) | 98. | Author Susan Mac Nicol (MM) |
| 99. | Sloan Johnson (M/M, BI) | 100. | Cody Kennedy (GAY) |
| 101. | Lea Bronsen (MULTI) | 102. | Brina Brady (M/M) |
| 103. | WindWhisperer (Erotica Whispers) (F/F) | 104. | Bey Deckard (M/M, BI) |
| 105. | Andrew Jericho (Gay) | 106. | NSBeranek (Gay) |
| 107. | Freddy MacKay (MM, BI, Queer Fic) | 108. | Mischief Corner Books (PUB) |
| 109. | Angel Martinez (Gay/Bi) | 110. | Catherine Dair Cover Designers (DES) |
| 111. | Toni Griffin (M/M) | 112. | Carly's Book Reviews (M/M, TR, BI, MULTI, REV) |
| 113. | Rory Ni Coileain (M/M) | 114. | M.LeAnne Phoenix (M/M) |
| 115. | Lucy Felthouse (Multi) | 116. | Bottom Drawer Publications (PUB) |
| 117. | Tempeste O'Riley (M/M, BI, Genderfluid, TR) |
GIVEAWAY
As a participant in the Hop I am doing a giveaway. One winner will win this awesome NOH8 tote bag And a $10.00 donation to NOH8 in their name.
Simply enter below!!! Since the Hop runs until May 24th, so does the contest :) Good luck to you all and remember your voice matters. Your guidance to our youth is vital!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Parenting: doing it right :D
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteI also believe in teaching and educating your children. So far like you I have been lucky that I have raised an awesome daughter who believes that love is love no matter the differences.
ReplyDeleteThey rarely teach it in school. My son (He's 12) will research to get information. My girls being so little I keep it in terms they can understand. As they grow the lessons change.
DeleteYou have such wonderful children they are a credit to you. It's so sad that many parents don't or won't explain that not everybody has to be, or is the same and they should be taught to respect and be kind to everyone.
ReplyDeleteShirleyAnn(at)speakman40(dot)freeserve(dot)co(dot)uk
Thank you and yes, it's sad common kindness is practiced so little
DeleteIf only all parents could raise their kids that way. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debra
DeletePeople believe that kids aren't ready or old enough to hear about non-heterosexual relationships. What makes them ready for being exposed to het at at early age? *side eyes certain popular princessy movies*
ReplyDeleteUnlike adults, they don't automatically equate love with sex. For them, love is just love. High fives from one mom to another who's keeping the communication open and honest about love being love, no matter who it's with. It's how I strive everyday to be with my 7yo girl when we have our conversations about the world.
*fist bump* You make a very good point. Why is homosexual taught to be taboo when like you say "Princessy" movies teach horrid lessons in heterosexuality
DeleteExcellent parenting! 💜
ReplyDeleteHanne
I am a lead teacher in ages birth to 3 years. I believe I help to spread awareness by educating not only the children in my care but their parents as well. I encourage gender neutral language and roles within my classrooms. Playing is playing, there are not girl and boy toys, there are simply toys, there are not girl or boy activities, here are simply learning experiences. When we teach acceptance from the get go, when we encourage diversity, we are able to give children the environment in which they can be whatever and whomever their souls are meant to be.
ReplyDeletesionedkla@gmail.com
My teenage daughter has grown up with a cousin who was adopted by her two mommies so it has always been something natural to her. Their acceptance was never an issue in our extended family even though the majority of them are devout Catholics. I'm definitely encouraged that her generation seems much more tolerant and accepting and hope that bodes well for the future.
ReplyDeleteLoved the personal parenting story. I see issues all the time as I work with children. Some will spout curses at the drop of a hat and others will hit their parents to get their way. Where is this behavior learned? They certainly weren't born knowing it. I truly believe that if we could improve the way that people are taught from a young age, that we would have a lot more acceptance.
ReplyDeleteLiked tour comments. I try to explain to my children that they should decide for themselves whether they like someone rgardless of sex, colour, race, sexual orientation, religion or friends opinions. And I always talk about trash talk comments and how hurtful they can be
ReplyDeleteI am a teacher and I try to teach the kids to be open minded and accept each other.
ReplyDeleteliving by example - showing your friends it's totally acceptable
ReplyDeleteEverything begins with what we teach children. Thank you for this post!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to teach my niece and nephew not to be mean and I'm hoping to lead up them being open minded since they're really young. My teenage brother is also someone I kind of lecture to be more open minded and nicer to people regardless of how they may act.
ReplyDelete-H.B.
Yeah,the best way to fight against homo-,bi- and transphobia is to start with a children...
ReplyDeleteI try to influence those who I am close to,but I live in a country of many prejudices,and sometimes it's hard to change people's opinion no matter how logical reasoning may be...but I think it's getting better,there is a greater awareness,especially among young people.
Thank you for the wonderful post! It spoke directly to me as I am trying to raise my two young children similarly to what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post sounds like you are raising your children right. My children are grown, but both are aware of my support of gay rights. I hope I help not tolerating hate speak. Also by posting positive messages on my Fb so family and friends can maybe open their hearts and minds
ReplyDelete