Welcome To Equality
Disclaimer:
I’m at the tail end of my anger regarding this subject, having spent an entire
day reassuring my closest friends that they belong within the community they
helped forge. Because of this, I honestly, wholeheartedly, sincerely couldn’t
give two donkey dicksplats about censoring myself. Prepare for a frank
discussion.
Speaking of
censorship, let’s get into this article—
I won’t
mince words (or do the whole someone
recently did this but I won’t name them charade) Hans M Hirschi recently
wrote a piece titled “On the mind of a writer who just so happens to be gay and
really angry…” and it was…divisive, to say the least.
Before I
get into this, let me prefix this article by saying I *kind of* get where this
anger Hans has comes from. I think all queer people do. However, I do not agree
with the direction he’s taking that anger, or the reasons he’s provided as an
excuse for his pointed article. You see, a lot of gay men (and other members of
the LGBT community, I assume) have very personal stories connected to their
sexualities, which straight people do not have due to their sexuality not being
a concern. So, I can see why people
who have such strong ties to a certain subject—one that is so personal to
them—would want to claim ownership over that topic. (Again, let’s not beat
around this bush, what Hans comes across as wanting in his article is gay
ownership over MM as a whole) I can see why they’d want to lead the
narrative—because they think they’ve earned that exclusivity simply by
existing. Because they’re who they are. Because of the “authenticity” they
bring to the table.
To that I
say—since when has romance been authentic?
Hans goes
on to talk about the overly sexualized cover models on MM novels. These walking
“porn stars” (his words) that make the average gay man feel lesser and
insecure… Because straight romance novels don’t have stunningly attractive
female protagonists? Because straight erotica doesn’t feature model-like men
pining over the average woman?
Can you see
the sarcasm in my writing? I hope so.
The MM
genre is not an anomaly in romance and/or erotica. The sexualization of the
genre, and the fetishization of those it depicts, is not prevalent because the
characters are gay men. Sex sells. Sex has always sold. And it’s been selling hetero
romance/erotica novels long before it started selling MM novels.
Welcome to
equality.
To his
credits, Hans gives examples of a variety of diverse characters written by
Shakespeare, the OG “straight white male” in fiction. It’s clear that Hans is a
fan of diversity in literature, but he seems to have a problem with how
unrealistic this all is. He thinks the men are too sex-crazed, and the stories
exploitive… Again, so is straight romance.
Twilight
was all about dying for the D, and 50 shades was all about romanticizing BDSM
and being a gold digger… This is hardly the genre for realism. He also goes on
to list a variety of sub-genres including non-con, shifters, etc, as if they
only exist in the MM world. It took me five seconds to find the straight equivalents
on Amazon. He talks about rape fetishization as if straight women in the MM
genre are the first and only to write this—again, look at amazon. Look on any
porn website. This stuff has its audiences across all markets. This isn’t a
personal attack on the LGBT community—people just enjoy messed up shit
sometimes. And that’s fine. It’s a fantasy. And, frankly, none of your
business.
Then, we
move onto the Mpreg comments. I won’t lie—I found this absolutely ridiculous.
Here’s a quote-- “Why is it okay to see
us pregnant even though so many of us are involuntarily childless, suffering
that pain, that emptiness, day after day for our entire lives. To be reminded
of that in fiction, callously shortened as mpreg is, is utterly disgusting and
heartless, and no matter what attempts at justification these authors and
readers may offer, there can be none.”
The point
here is that Mpreg is somehow offensive because gay men cannot naturally
conceive with their partner… right? So, should women who cannot have children
take up arms against every fictional pregnant woman, or every happy couple that
conceive on their first try? Should straight men get angry if they’re shooting
blanks? Can you honestly tell me you’d side with the woman who wanted all
depictions of pregnancy erased from media because she couldn’t naturally
conceive a child?
Do you see
how silly this is?
And, once
again I find myself reiterating that this trope is found in straight
sci-fi/romance/fantasy, too. Mystical pregnancy has been featured in Star Trek,
Angel, Charmed, etc. It’s got a TV trope page dedicated to it. It’s not
exclusive to the MM community.
Finally,
Hans closes his article with this-- “Think
about it, for every sex scene that you jerked off to in your latest M/M, a gay
man was hung in Iran, flogged in Saudi Arabia, tortured in Chechnya, imprisoned
in Uganda, thrown off a roof-top in Syria…” again, reinforcing this idea
that because gay men suffer, we should have ownership over all depictions of
our sexuality (or that’s how it comes across to this particular gay man), and
that women should be ashamed for finding the fun in a gay man’s sexuality
because so many gay men still suffer today.
Okay, in
that case, why don’t we talk about how many women are suffering in some of
those same countries? The fight for gender equality is far from over, yet this
article doesn’t seem to care that hetero romance can freely depict sexually
active, empowering, fetishized women despite women around the world being
abused if they try to act that way. Don’t forget, for every hetero sex scene
that’s written, and for every “porn star” posing on a hetero erotica, a woman
was beaten for having sex before marriage. You better go to every producer and
director working on their latest rom-com in Hollywood this very instant and
tell them to shut that shit down for being so insensitive. /Eyerolls into
oblivion.
You know,
it’s funny to me that this entire thing is asking for anything but equality.
This isn’t someone asking for gay characters to be depicted the same way
straight characters are—because that’s already happening. We’re already seeing
over-the-top, unrealistically good-looking men getting into silly drama and
having sexual adventures we’d never experience… You know, like in straight
romance.
No, what
Hans (and the people who agree with him) seem to want is special treatment. The
argument (which never offers a solution to the so-called problem presented) is
that gay men don’t really live the lives that their fictional counterparts do,
and that is somehow horrifying to behold.
You want
realism? You want authenticity from a gay man? Today me and my fiancé spoke a
total of 5 sentences to one another. I didn’t change my underwear, and he
visited a friend. We gave each other a passing kiss before bed, and I can hear
him farting in the bedroom as I type this article.
Fucking
thrilling stuff.
Best seller material.
10/10 can’t wait for the movie adaptation.
Best seller material.
10/10 can’t wait for the movie adaptation.
Meanwhile,
every woman I know is currently being flown to Paris by their millionaire BDSM
lover. They’re kissing in the rain. They’re fabulous New York columnists that
always get the man. They have vampires and werewolves pining over them despite
having the emotional depth of a fucking cabbage. Yes, that’s all completely
authentic. That’s all real.
In closing,
I would like to say that I do agree with one thing that Hans stated in his
article. He is an angry gay man, and he’s using that anger as a disguise to
ridicule a genre that he obviously has no love for. He claims in his article
that there are some truly great romances hidden in the MM genre—again, as if
this is a problem exclusive to MM. As if there aren’t hundreds of trashy,
sex-fuelled straight eroticas in the world. And, to put it plainly, I think
it’s disgusting when gay men take their years of pent up frustration and toss
it at our allies, because they know that’s the only way they’ll get heard.
After all, if you’re a gay man telling a straight woman how gay men be, then
they can’t clap back, am I right? /Sarcasm
And to all
the women that were impacted by this, I would like to apologize on behalf of my
people—except, I don’t speak for them, I only speak for myself, because the
only “authenticity” I can offer you is my own. Guess why? Because we’re all
different. Which kind of makes the whole “authenticity” argument redundant,
don’t you think? After all, Hans might not be able to relate to these
sexually-charged men, but I could’ve five years ago. Hell, give me two days’
notice and a glass of sangria, and I’ll relate to them all night.
But in all
seriousness, I don’t think you need to defend yourself for liking the MM genre,
for whatever reason it is you like it. I also don’t think you need to defend
yourself for writing it, whether you’re striving for “authenticity” or offering
readers a sexual fantasy. There’s no shame in getting off on two guys, and
there’s no shame in being emotionally invested in the broader scope of LGBT
issues. Personally, I only care that you—
- Are buying the books you’re reading to support the genre and authors
- Want equal rights for LGBT people
The rest of
what you get from the MM genre is your business. Not mine. Not his. Yours.
P.S. Simon
vs the Homo Sapians Agenda was written by a white woman. Suck it.
