Saturday, April 26, 2014
Author Saturday Spotlight: Riley Hart *Interview and Giveaway*
Riley Hart, the author of the Blackcreek Series and one of the top 3 best menage's I have ever read is my Spotlight author this Saturday. I am a huge fan of hers and I can't tell you enough how exquisite her writing is!
I am a big menage fan and I struggle daily with finding ones that are written as wonderfully as Broken Pieces is. I gave it a 5 star rating on Goodreads and on Amazon. In case you missed it here's that review:
I want to give it more than 5 stars! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I can't do this book justice in a review! You have to read it to truly understand. I had a book hang over after this was done. I didn't know what to do with myself! The characters were all shattered and at one point you're like, "Can they make it?" There is no simple answer. I don't have a favorite character which is weird. I always do. I fell in love with all of them! I think this is the best Menage book I've ever read. I am SO picky about my menage books so Riley Hart really became a favorite author very quickly. I can't wait for the sequel!
If you haven't read it already I highly recommend you do!
Blurb:
Can three broken pieces make a whole?
Josiah Evans is the orphan who lost both his parents. He’s sweet, shy, and all heart. He wants nothing more than to be loved.
Mateo Sanchez is the son of a gang leader. He’s seen it all, and never hesitates to do what needs to be done, no matter what it is.
Tristan Croft is the wealthy attorney who clawed his way up from the bottom to rule his own world. He’ll never depend on anyone but himself again.
Three men who couldn’t be more different…and yet, as their lives intersect they find an uncommon balance that calms the storms inside each of them, and ignites fires hotter than they ever thought imaginable.
Told uniquely in three parts and spanning over ten years, BROKEN PIECES is a journey of healing for three fragmented souls, finding love in the unlikeliest of places—with each other.
Riley Hart's ability to write sexy, hot story lines and tales with outstanding plot is not a small feat. Very often, authors sway toward the sex and can't hold on to the intriguing plot. I have never had this problem with a Riley Hart book.
Collide is book 1 in the Blackcreek series... I have always loved the idea of friends falling in love. They know the path you've walked and often, have held you up to get where you're going. Friends like that are rare. Now to have that friend up and disappear, only to see them 17 years later? WOW! we need answers, right? THAT IS COLLIDE!
Blurb:
At ten years old, Noah Jameson and Cooper Bradshaw collided mid-air when they dove for the same football. For three years, they were inseparable…until one day when Noah and his parents disappeared in the middle of the night.
Noah and Cooper never knew what happened to each other. Now, seventeen years later, after finding his boyfriend in bed with another man, Noah returns to Blackcreek looking for a fresh start. And damned if he doesn't find his old friend grew up to be sexy as sin. Coop can’t believe Noah—the only person he trusted with the guilt over his parents’ death—is back. And gay… Or that Cooper himself suddenly wants another man in his bed for the first time.
There’s no denying the attraction and emotion between them, but can they overcome the ghosts of their pasts to have a future together?
This title contains two strong, sexy men, and a passionate friendship that transforms into a sizzling hot romance.
It's as good as it sounds!!!!
Book 2 of the Black creek series AND TODAY'S GIVEAWAY!!!! Is STAY.
Blurb:
Wes Jensen just lost the sister who raised him, and gained custody of his niece. The last thing he needs to add to his full plate is dealing with Braden Roth, the one-night-stand who continues to try to push his way into Wes’ life. He has a kid to raise now, and Wes isn't great at getting close anyway.
Braden has never had a woman or a man sneak out on him the morning after. From the start, Wes intrigues him, and Braden isn't one to deny himself something he wants. And he wants Wes. The more time he spends with Wes and the little girl who constantly keeps them on their toes, the more Braden realizes this isn't just about getting the guy who walked away.
As their lives intertwine more and more, Wes discovers Braden isn't as shallow as he thought. But after everything Wes lost in his life, he isn't sure he can risk his heart, and truly want Braden to stay—and if he did, would Wes’ quiet life be enough for Braden?
At the end of this post your chance to win STAY will be yours!!!! Be sure to enter.
***INTERVIEW***
1. You have a new book The second in the Blackcreek series called Stay, which is so exciting, can you maybe tell us a bit about this book?
Sure! It's about a man, Wes, who loses his sister and gains custody of his niece. He's a little closed off because he's lost so much in his life but Braden isn't one who will take no for an answer. He's loyal, and has a huge heart and he works his way past Wes's defenses. It's a sexy romance but it's also about family, and learning to move forward.
2. How do you make sure the information for your nonfiction books is accurate and up-to-date?
Researching whatever I need on the internet.
3. Broken Pieces was in a post I had a few weeks back as a Top 3 All Time Favorite Menage book. I meant that so very much. How did you make this menage so successful? It's so well written, you nailed the psychology of it as well as the emotion.
I don't know! LOL. I was nervous I didn't get it right. I think it's important for each person in a menage to play a roll--not to just be there, to be there. With my three guys, they each bring something very specific to the table, something they can do for the others that no one else can, so it's equal ground. They're all needed to make the whole.
4. Can you tell us about the sequel at all?
It's called FULL CIRCLE. The guys have come a long way but they still have a ways to go. Things weren't magically fixed at the end of BROKEN PIECES but they're together, and working toward their happiness.
5. What inspires you?
Life…love. I'm a romantic. I live and breathe romance. It's my little piece of happiness I can put into the world to hopefully make people smile.
6. How do you find or make time to write?
I make time. It's important to me so I steal whatever time I can, even if it's 20 minutes here and there.
7. Can you tell us anything about any future projects you are working on?
I'm working on FULL CIRCLE right now. After that will be the third book in the Blackcreek series.
8. What do you like to read in your free time?
Romance mostly. I read a lot of m/m. I read both adult and YA books too.
9. How do you begin a novel? What's your process.
I loosely plot out some things. I know my people pretty well and then I just write. I did more plotting for Broken Pieces because so many things had to fit together to make it work the way it needed to.
10. How can your readers follow you (Social media) to keep up with your books and career?
On Twitter I'm RileyHart5 My blog is Riley Hart Writes and Facebook is Riley Hart on FB
I can't thank Riley Hart enough for being awesome with this interview. I speak for all your readers when I say keep writing we WILL keep reading!!!
GIVEAWAY TIME! The giveaway will run until May 2nd. Winner will be notified via email. You will have 48 hours to respond and then we will go to the runner up. Thank you!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Cover Reveal for The Perfect Spirit by Traci Hayden
Synopsis
28
year old writer, Vanessa
Fortney has travelled
the world, living life
to the fullest.
When she comes home
due to the
unexpected death of
her only blood
relatives, she only has
one regret; never finding
love that triumphs
all others.
In
a beautiful valley
in the Rocky
Mountains, Nessa finds her
wondering about a
mysterious stranger who
saved her after
a nearly disastrous
car accident. The mystery
that surrounds Daniel
is quickly replaced
by the increasing
addiction Nessa feels
for him.
Will
she find that
love that transcendences
all love or
will tragedy keep
them apart?
Excerpt
Nessa's
body melted as
his deep and
lusty French accent
washed over her,
penetrating her deepest
fantasies. “My name is...”
“Vanessa.
I know.”
He answered.
He stepped
forward,
pulling a
gloved
hand
out
from
within
his
coat. “My
name's
Daniel.”
Nessa
assumed since the
town on the
edge of the
valley had a
small gathering, her presence
had been known
within a few
hours of her
arrival. She looked down
at his extended
hand and contemplated
taking it. When they
touched, it was be
final. Her whispering dreams
of him would
become real. All her
fleeting thoughts of
him would be
physical.
Her
drive to be
captivated by him
drove her tiny
hand into his. A
chill travelled her
arm as she
realized how cold
his hand was
even through the
leather glove. Her
hospitality and caring
nature won out
over everything else
she was feeling.
“Come to the house.
Sit by the fire
and warm up. I'm
sure Richard and
Sylvia would like
to thank you
also.” Secretly, she wanted
to keep him
close to her.
“I'm
sorry, but
I
must
decline.”
His voice
held
a
layer
of
regret. “I'm
not
comfortable
around
people. I've
been
alone
for
a
long
time.”
Nessa
bowed her head,
hiding her disappointment.
“Maybe we could just
sit and talk
for a bit
then.”
Daniel's
hand came to
rest on her
cheek. His thumb under
her chin, pulled her
face up till
his beautiful eyes
met hers again.
“As much as I
would love to...”
He looked towards the
horizon, the sun barely
visible as it
set, “I must leave.”
The
pang of disappointment
stabbed Nessa's heart.
She nodded, holding herself
together. The profound
sadness tore through
her. “I understand.”
Daniel
leaned in, breathing in
her scent. “I missed
this.” Nessa's body reacted
involuntarily. She reached up
on her toes
and brushed her
cheek against his
clean shaven face.
The fragrance of
jasmine and lavender
imprinted in her
mind.
“Missed
what?” Nessa asked, already knowing the answer, but relishing in
the sound of his deep voice.
“Your
smell.” He whispered, leaning his face into hers. “I haven't
smelled the incense of lilacs in far too long.”
The
heat of her
blush flamed bright
against her skin.
She needed to see
him again. “Daniel...” His
name tasted sweet
on her lips,
“...when can I see
you again?”
“Very
soon, ma
belle.” He
breathed
into
her
ear. “For
now,
remember me
in
your
dreams.”
About
Author
Traci
Hayden
is
a
proud
mother
of
four
beautiful
girls
and
one
adorable
granddaughter.
She
has
always
had
a
passion
for
reading,
but
recently
the
obsession
for
writing
has
taken
over.
As
a Nova Scotian native now living in British Columbia, Traci has
travelled across Canada, fuelling her imagination from coast to coast.
Along
with
two
dogs
and
one
cat,
Traci's
home
is
shared
with
her
partner
of
16
years. He
is
her
rock
and
constant
support.
Traci
loves
all
genres
of
writing,
but
currently
is
exploring
the
world
of
romance.
Designer
Links (Kari March)
Author
Links
Coming
May
15, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Cover Reveal and Giveaway for The Certainty of Deception by Jeanne McDonald
the certainty of deception
Book 2 in The Truth in Lies Series
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Cover Designer: Jada D'Lee Design
Expected release date: June 17, 2014
Love is forgiving, revenge is messy, and the truth will prevail.
Love is forgiving, revenge is messy, and the truth will prevail.
Summary:
After years of living in the darkness of his past, Andrew Wise, a young attorney working for his family’s law firm in Sarasota, Florida, has finally broken free of the demons that haunt him. Wealth, success, happiness, and true love; everything a man could ever dream of, was right at his fingertips. Or so he thought. But in the blink of an eye, all of that changed. Upon discovering that his ex-girlfriend, Olivia Hamilton, was pregnant, Drew fell back into some old habits, which led to him losing the one person that mattered the most in his life - McKenzie Evans.
When McKenzie left him and returned to Texas, Drew was beside himself. The night before she left, he made an agreement with her best friend Jared Christopher, that he would give her time and space to come to grips with the fact that he’d fathered her best friend’s child. Now, two months later, he feels as though he held up his end of the bargain, Drew can’t take their separation any longer. With his brother’s wedding mere weeks away, Drew devises a plan to win McKenzie back.
Under the guise of a bachelor getaway for Gavin, Drew, along with his brother and Jared, jets off on an adventure to the panhandle of Texas. There, he will learn what made McKenzie who she is and will find strength within himself that he never realized existed.
In this charming sequel to The Truth in Lies, Drew and McKenzie discover that not everything is as it seems, forgiveness is a matter of acceptance, and true love really can conquer all.
Jeanne McDonald began telling stories at the ripe young age of five, when her mother considered the truth to be a lie due to her extensive embellishment to the retelling of an event. She wrote her first short story when she was twelve years old, and at the age of sixteen she tried her hand at poetry. She reconnected with her love for writing in 2010 thanks to the encouragement of a dear friend.
Her passions include a "mild" Starbucks addiction, music, reading, quotes, movies, and romance. When she's not spending time with her family, she can be found reading, writing, chatting with her friends or diligently working toward her bachelor's degree in Speech Pathology and Audiology. A proud Texan, Jeanne currently resides in the Dallas/Fort Worth area with her family.
When McKenzie left him and returned to Texas, Drew was beside himself. The night before she left, he made an agreement with her best friend Jared Christopher, that he would give her time and space to come to grips with the fact that he’d fathered her best friend’s child. Now, two months later, he feels as though he held up his end of the bargain, Drew can’t take their separation any longer. With his brother’s wedding mere weeks away, Drew devises a plan to win McKenzie back.
Under the guise of a bachelor getaway for Gavin, Drew, along with his brother and Jared, jets off on an adventure to the panhandle of Texas. There, he will learn what made McKenzie who she is and will find strength within himself that he never realized existed.
In this charming sequel to The Truth in Lies, Drew and McKenzie discover that not everything is as it seems, forgiveness is a matter of acceptance, and true love really can conquer all.
About the Author:
Her passions include a "mild" Starbucks addiction, music, reading, quotes, movies, and romance. When she's not spending time with her family, she can be found reading, writing, chatting with her friends or diligently working toward her bachelor's degree in Speech Pathology and Audiology. A proud Texan, Jeanne currently resides in the Dallas/Fort Worth area with her family.
Where to find Jeanne:
Goodreads | Amazon
the truth in lies
Book 1
Summary:
Life is a sequence of choices. Some are deliberate, others are forced
upon you. This was a lesson that McKenzie Evans knew all too well. After
the miscarriage of her son, she made the hard decision to leave her
absentee boyfriend and move in with her former college roommate, Olivia
Hamilton. That’s when she was introduced to Andrew Wise, a brilliant
attorney, working for his family’s law firm in Sarasota, Florida.
To McKenzie, Drew became her salvation. He had a way of understanding her when no one else could. The closer they became, the more McKenzie found herself falling in love with Drew. He was everything she ever dreamed of in a man, and for the first time in her life, she felt truly alive. There was only one problem. Drew was dating Olivia.
With the help of fate and circumstance, Drew and McKenzie journey down a path of unrequited love and denied feelings. In the end, they must make a choice between their hearts or their consciences. In this one decision they discover that there’s always a glimmer of truth to a lie, that there’s a fine line between love and friendship, and sometimes you have to risk everything to gain everything.
To McKenzie, Drew became her salvation. He had a way of understanding her when no one else could. The closer they became, the more McKenzie found herself falling in love with Drew. He was everything she ever dreamed of in a man, and for the first time in her life, she felt truly alive. There was only one problem. Drew was dating Olivia.
With the help of fate and circumstance, Drew and McKenzie journey down a path of unrequited love and denied feelings. In the end, they must make a choice between their hearts or their consciences. In this one decision they discover that there’s always a glimmer of truth to a lie, that there’s a fine line between love and friendship, and sometimes you have to risk everything to gain everything.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Attention New Writers...
I'm not going to sit here and get all preachy on you. I have never ever in the history of forever published a book. I have written fanfiction and am currently writing a book under a pen name, but I will not claim to be an expert. That's why, when I got this idea for a blog post I called in some reinforcements... Namely an Editor/ Writer. One of the best out there in my honest opinion.
Theo Fenraven, a published author and an editor agreed to let me pretty much copy/paste 2 posts he wrote on his blog. I found these posts to be extremely helpful and I believe writers starting out can benefit a great deal from them.
1. Superfluous thats. I notice them every time, and have actually gotten to the point where I mentally skip over that word when reading, I hate seeing it there so much. Try the sentence without it; if it sounds good, if it makes sense, take that damn word out.
Other often superfluous words that drive me and other readers crazy: well, so, even, up, just, and believe it or not, back. That last one sometimes gets used over and over in a paragraph. You can make dialog sound natural without taking it from real life. I mean, none of us write the way we talk and that’s a GOOD THING, otherwise, the books we write would make us all insane. An occasional “uh” or “well” is okay, but don’t start every line of dialog with it even if, in real life, that’s exactly what you do. In real life, you’re boring. Let’s try not to mimic that in fiction.
2. Guys who are come (or cum, if you prefer that spelling) machines. They get it up, they come, and instantly, they are hard again, ready for another round. Even at age 18, it takes a couple minutes, and if you’re over thirty? I know there are some machine gun cocks out there, but please allow refractory time for the merely mortal men. Use the waiting time to talk or cuddle or throw darts at a wall, but do give them a bit of time.
3. I began to walk across the room or He was beginning to dance. Stop that! Be firm. Be brave. Say I walked across the room or He danced. Take out those useless extra words and clean up your writing. Say what you want to say. Get to the point, because I’m beginning to hate seeing this kind of writing, and so many inexperienced authors do it.
4. He tried to kiss her. I tried to fill the sink. As Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.” This one is a particular thorn in my side. While there are instances when “trying to” do something applies, mostly it’s just more clutter. Do it already. Kiss her and then fill the sink.
5. Independently moving body parts. He moved his eyes around the room. Oh yeah? Nifty trick, moving eyes that way. Did they like it better on the shelf by the pothos or next to the window? His feet shuffled along the path, going right at the fork in the road. Nuh-uh. Feet don’t have a mind of their own. He shuffled along the path.
6. The hand problem, which a lot of writers seem to suffer from. He moved a hand up and tweaked her nipple. He used his free hand to stroke the inside of her thigh. This one should be obvious. You can’t tweak or stroke without using your hands, so stop writing this way. Just tweak her nipple and stroke her thigh. She’ll thank you for it and so will the reader, who understands you are using hands and not bionic metal parts that are cold and might hurt.
7. Detailing gestures. He shook his head no. Shaking your head implies no; you don’t have to say it (unless you’re in a country where the usual gestures don’t apply, in which case, publish there, not here). He shrugged his shoulders. What else is he gonna shrug? His hips? His knees? He shrugged. Short and sweet.
8. Authors who use ten words when one will do. Complex, convoluted sentences do not impress. They wear the reader out, and if you make them tired enough, they’ll toss your book aside. Always write as simply as possible. Beautiful sentences don’t contain a plethora of adjectives and adverbs.
9. Overuse of exclamation points! Very rarely does someone speak in a way that requires their use! If you want to impart excitement, terror, or other strong emotion to the reader, put it in the writing, not the bang! Someone please stop me now! <whew> That’s better. If you use too many bangs in your story, you will be thought of as an amateur.
10. They all looked in his direction. The group of chanters all passed out as the poison gas hit them. Spot it yet? ALL. For some reason, this one gets thrown in the oddest sentences. It’s another one of those often superfluous words writing can do without. Reading aloud, or having your writing read to you, can be eye-opening. I’m pretty sure you’ll hear these things even if your eye misses them.
11. He stood up. She sat down. Minor quibble here, but worth pointing out. If you sit, down is implied. If you stand, up is implied. Think about it.
12. Repetition. Ooh, this is a bad one with some writers. In their head, they are writing beautiful sentences but in reality, their mind got into a rut when they weren’t looking and started repeating the same word or phrase, over and over and OVER again until the reader upchucks in disgust. I’m really good at spotting these; I’ll nail you for them every time. If you want to get ahead of the game, download the free program SmartEdit, which will do the looking for you. It doesn’t fix them, it only points out the sheer number of times you wrote He rolled his eyes or She lifted an eyebrow.
If you actually think about what you write, you’ll be amazed how quickly you improve. Becoming aware is the first step toward developing your own style. Writing well is a huge accomplishment in this world full of mediocre writers. But remember, all writers, even the best, need someone with a critical eye to tweak their manuscript. I’m talking about a discerning beta or a good editor. I happen to be both. Keep that in mind if you think you’re ready to self-publish or submit that novel to a publisher. I even have testimonials, which one day I will post. :)
Bullshit.
Being published is a privilege, one you earn by learning your craft and being a professional, and if some pain goes along with that, tough shit. No one’s forcing you to write. Take up knitting. I hear that’s popular now. Get a goat, milk it, and make yogurt. Move to the country and stop wearing clothes when you garden.
If you write for publication, you should never stop learning, never stop trying to improve. Don’t assume you know it all and can rest on your cushy laurels. Your personal standards should always rise, not hover around ‘good enough.’
You want an editor that’s going to slap you around, make you cry, even make you bleed, because that person is going to help you put out the best work you’re capable of. They’re going to help you take that piece of coal and turn it into a diamond.
Oh, you were out of coal that day and handed in a a block of petrified wood? You were tired, you were sick, your aunt who lives in another state was sick, the cat puked in your favorite shoes, a dark cloud crossed the sun, you just didn’t feel like going over that manuscript even once before submitting? Shame on you. If you do this, you’re not a writer. You’re not a professional. You’re not taking yourself seriously, and no one else will, either. See previous paragraph about knitting and goats.
Where is the line between the author’s style and plain bad writing? If I can’t get through one paragraph without highlighting something, you’re either lazy (didn’t re-read or get it beta’d) or you can’t write. Either way, you’re wasting everyone’s time.
I can’t say this often enough: learn your craft.
Read. Observe how good writers handle this description or that action. Write write write, always seeking to make your sentences better, leaner, more powerful. You’re in love with the word actually and use it at least once on every page? Get over it. Time to break up with that bitch and move on.
Become your own harshest critic. Never hesitate to slash and burn if it means you’re turning your work into a diamond. Your editor will appreciate it. The reader will love you for it. And in the end, who doesn’t want a diamond? Coal is easy. Go for precious gems.
_____
More things a writer should never do:
1. Head anywhere, i.e., we headed out of town, headed to the kitchen, headed up the stairs. “Head/headed” seems to have become the universal word for moving characters from one place to another. USE SPARINGLY, because it’s really getting irksome to see it used to the exclusion of all other ways to accomplish your goal. He went to the kitchen. She trotted up the stairs. They slunk out of town. “Head/headed” is lazy writing.
2. He made as if to rise. Even writing that made me laugh. Uh, what? He rose. He stood. He leaped to his feet. Write cleanly, simply. Don’t throw a lot of extra words in there. It scrambles readers’ brains.
3. Dialog tags. You know what those are. “Leave,” he said. ‘He said’ is the dialog tag. Get in the habit of using them only when necessary. You’d be amazed how much better your story flows if there is not a surfeit of dialog tags. Let your characters talk and move in a sea of soaring narrative. Dialog tags only slow things down, especially when they are anything other than ‘he said.’
4. Expand your vocabulary. I don’t want to read “He nodded,” “he nodded again,” “he nodded a third time” in the space of three paragraphs. If you can’t think of anything else to write, see previous paragraph about knitting and goats. Stop relying on the same old words and phrases. Come up with new ways to say old things. Avoid repetition like the plague, because that’s what it is: a plague, and on all our houses, not just yours. (If you didn’t get that reference, you aren’t reading enough: Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare.)
5. “He grabbed his own cock.” “She got into her own clothes.” “He closed his own car door.” UGH. Take ‘own’ out of there please! I’ve been seeing this too much lately and it pisses me off. I get that you think it’s necessary to put that in there when there are two or more people in a scene, but don’t. If John is grabbing a cock, it’s either gonna be one he owns or a friend’s, in which case, that would be stated: He grabbed Mike’s cock. If he’s grabbing his cock, ‘own’ doesn’t belong there. It’s a junk word.
6. “He felt,” “she felt,” “they watched.” For the love of all that is holy, NO. If your point of view (PoV) is clear, there is no need to phrase the action that way. “He felt William sag against him.” Nope. William sagged against him. Or: “He watched Suzie rearrange the furniture so it was sure to trip him.” Nuh-uh. Suzie rearranged the furniture so it was sure to trip him. Learn this one. It will save us all a lot of eyerolls.
7. “…and with his free hand, he gingerly touched her pigeon-shaped mole.” The ‘free hand’ thing makes me laugh and then want to punch something. All of you is free, not just the spare hand. Remember our discussion on body parts in the last post on editing? Find it here.
This is WORD FOR WORD. I didn't change any part of those 2 posts. Some people may not know Theo so here is the link to his blog... Theo Fenraven on Wordpress He has published MANY books as well as edited many more. He knows what he's talking about.
If you're like me you constantly ask yourself if you're doing it right. You wonder how it is you can learn to be better, to not only love writing but be good at it.
I hope this is as helpful for you as it is for me. I want to thank Theo for allowing me to copy this and share it with all of you.
Theo Fenraven, a published author and an editor agreed to let me pretty much copy/paste 2 posts he wrote on his blog. I found these posts to be extremely helpful and I believe writers starting out can benefit a great deal from them.
Writers Writing Badly
Over my years of fiction editing, I’ve collected a bunch of things that drive me nuts. Here they are, in no particular order.1. Superfluous thats. I notice them every time, and have actually gotten to the point where I mentally skip over that word when reading, I hate seeing it there so much. Try the sentence without it; if it sounds good, if it makes sense, take that damn word out.
Other often superfluous words that drive me and other readers crazy: well, so, even, up, just, and believe it or not, back. That last one sometimes gets used over and over in a paragraph. You can make dialog sound natural without taking it from real life. I mean, none of us write the way we talk and that’s a GOOD THING, otherwise, the books we write would make us all insane. An occasional “uh” or “well” is okay, but don’t start every line of dialog with it even if, in real life, that’s exactly what you do. In real life, you’re boring. Let’s try not to mimic that in fiction.
2. Guys who are come (or cum, if you prefer that spelling) machines. They get it up, they come, and instantly, they are hard again, ready for another round. Even at age 18, it takes a couple minutes, and if you’re over thirty? I know there are some machine gun cocks out there, but please allow refractory time for the merely mortal men. Use the waiting time to talk or cuddle or throw darts at a wall, but do give them a bit of time.
3. I began to walk across the room or He was beginning to dance. Stop that! Be firm. Be brave. Say I walked across the room or He danced. Take out those useless extra words and clean up your writing. Say what you want to say. Get to the point, because I’m beginning to hate seeing this kind of writing, and so many inexperienced authors do it.
4. He tried to kiss her. I tried to fill the sink. As Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.” This one is a particular thorn in my side. While there are instances when “trying to” do something applies, mostly it’s just more clutter. Do it already. Kiss her and then fill the sink.
5. Independently moving body parts. He moved his eyes around the room. Oh yeah? Nifty trick, moving eyes that way. Did they like it better on the shelf by the pothos or next to the window? His feet shuffled along the path, going right at the fork in the road. Nuh-uh. Feet don’t have a mind of their own. He shuffled along the path.
6. The hand problem, which a lot of writers seem to suffer from. He moved a hand up and tweaked her nipple. He used his free hand to stroke the inside of her thigh. This one should be obvious. You can’t tweak or stroke without using your hands, so stop writing this way. Just tweak her nipple and stroke her thigh. She’ll thank you for it and so will the reader, who understands you are using hands and not bionic metal parts that are cold and might hurt.
7. Detailing gestures. He shook his head no. Shaking your head implies no; you don’t have to say it (unless you’re in a country where the usual gestures don’t apply, in which case, publish there, not here). He shrugged his shoulders. What else is he gonna shrug? His hips? His knees? He shrugged. Short and sweet.
8. Authors who use ten words when one will do. Complex, convoluted sentences do not impress. They wear the reader out, and if you make them tired enough, they’ll toss your book aside. Always write as simply as possible. Beautiful sentences don’t contain a plethora of adjectives and adverbs.
9. Overuse of exclamation points! Very rarely does someone speak in a way that requires their use! If you want to impart excitement, terror, or other strong emotion to the reader, put it in the writing, not the bang! Someone please stop me now! <whew> That’s better. If you use too many bangs in your story, you will be thought of as an amateur.
10. They all looked in his direction. The group of chanters all passed out as the poison gas hit them. Spot it yet? ALL. For some reason, this one gets thrown in the oddest sentences. It’s another one of those often superfluous words writing can do without. Reading aloud, or having your writing read to you, can be eye-opening. I’m pretty sure you’ll hear these things even if your eye misses them.
11. He stood up. She sat down. Minor quibble here, but worth pointing out. If you sit, down is implied. If you stand, up is implied. Think about it.
12. Repetition. Ooh, this is a bad one with some writers. In their head, they are writing beautiful sentences but in reality, their mind got into a rut when they weren’t looking and started repeating the same word or phrase, over and over and OVER again until the reader upchucks in disgust. I’m really good at spotting these; I’ll nail you for them every time. If you want to get ahead of the game, download the free program SmartEdit, which will do the looking for you. It doesn’t fix them, it only points out the sheer number of times you wrote He rolled his eyes or She lifted an eyebrow.
If you actually think about what you write, you’ll be amazed how quickly you improve. Becoming aware is the first step toward developing your own style. Writing well is a huge accomplishment in this world full of mediocre writers. But remember, all writers, even the best, need someone with a critical eye to tweak their manuscript. I’m talking about a discerning beta or a good editor. I happen to be both. Keep that in mind if you think you’re ready to self-publish or submit that novel to a publisher. I even have testimonials, which one day I will post. :)
Writers Writing Badly, Part 2
The idea of what an editor does seems to have changed. Previously, we were given a free hand (this is the only time you should ever use ‘free hand’ in a sentence; see #7 below) to whip a MS into shape. Now, we’re often expected to pussyfoot around the writer, not hurt their little duck feelings, not cut too deeply, because we might be infringing on that writer’s style.Bullshit.
Being published is a privilege, one you earn by learning your craft and being a professional, and if some pain goes along with that, tough shit. No one’s forcing you to write. Take up knitting. I hear that’s popular now. Get a goat, milk it, and make yogurt. Move to the country and stop wearing clothes when you garden.
If you write for publication, you should never stop learning, never stop trying to improve. Don’t assume you know it all and can rest on your cushy laurels. Your personal standards should always rise, not hover around ‘good enough.’
You want an editor that’s going to slap you around, make you cry, even make you bleed, because that person is going to help you put out the best work you’re capable of. They’re going to help you take that piece of coal and turn it into a diamond.
Oh, you were out of coal that day and handed in a a block of petrified wood? You were tired, you were sick, your aunt who lives in another state was sick, the cat puked in your favorite shoes, a dark cloud crossed the sun, you just didn’t feel like going over that manuscript even once before submitting? Shame on you. If you do this, you’re not a writer. You’re not a professional. You’re not taking yourself seriously, and no one else will, either. See previous paragraph about knitting and goats.
Where is the line between the author’s style and plain bad writing? If I can’t get through one paragraph without highlighting something, you’re either lazy (didn’t re-read or get it beta’d) or you can’t write. Either way, you’re wasting everyone’s time.
I can’t say this often enough: learn your craft.
Read. Observe how good writers handle this description or that action. Write write write, always seeking to make your sentences better, leaner, more powerful. You’re in love with the word actually and use it at least once on every page? Get over it. Time to break up with that bitch and move on.
Become your own harshest critic. Never hesitate to slash and burn if it means you’re turning your work into a diamond. Your editor will appreciate it. The reader will love you for it. And in the end, who doesn’t want a diamond? Coal is easy. Go for precious gems.
_____
More things a writer should never do:
1. Head anywhere, i.e., we headed out of town, headed to the kitchen, headed up the stairs. “Head/headed” seems to have become the universal word for moving characters from one place to another. USE SPARINGLY, because it’s really getting irksome to see it used to the exclusion of all other ways to accomplish your goal. He went to the kitchen. She trotted up the stairs. They slunk out of town. “Head/headed” is lazy writing.
2. He made as if to rise. Even writing that made me laugh. Uh, what? He rose. He stood. He leaped to his feet. Write cleanly, simply. Don’t throw a lot of extra words in there. It scrambles readers’ brains.
3. Dialog tags. You know what those are. “Leave,” he said. ‘He said’ is the dialog tag. Get in the habit of using them only when necessary. You’d be amazed how much better your story flows if there is not a surfeit of dialog tags. Let your characters talk and move in a sea of soaring narrative. Dialog tags only slow things down, especially when they are anything other than ‘he said.’
4. Expand your vocabulary. I don’t want to read “He nodded,” “he nodded again,” “he nodded a third time” in the space of three paragraphs. If you can’t think of anything else to write, see previous paragraph about knitting and goats. Stop relying on the same old words and phrases. Come up with new ways to say old things. Avoid repetition like the plague, because that’s what it is: a plague, and on all our houses, not just yours. (If you didn’t get that reference, you aren’t reading enough: Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare.)
5. “He grabbed his own cock.” “She got into her own clothes.” “He closed his own car door.” UGH. Take ‘own’ out of there please! I’ve been seeing this too much lately and it pisses me off. I get that you think it’s necessary to put that in there when there are two or more people in a scene, but don’t. If John is grabbing a cock, it’s either gonna be one he owns or a friend’s, in which case, that would be stated: He grabbed Mike’s cock. If he’s grabbing his cock, ‘own’ doesn’t belong there. It’s a junk word.
6. “He felt,” “she felt,” “they watched.” For the love of all that is holy, NO. If your point of view (PoV) is clear, there is no need to phrase the action that way. “He felt William sag against him.” Nope. William sagged against him. Or: “He watched Suzie rearrange the furniture so it was sure to trip him.” Nuh-uh. Suzie rearranged the furniture so it was sure to trip him. Learn this one. It will save us all a lot of eyerolls.
7. “…and with his free hand, he gingerly touched her pigeon-shaped mole.” The ‘free hand’ thing makes me laugh and then want to punch something. All of you is free, not just the spare hand. Remember our discussion on body parts in the last post on editing? Find it here.
This is WORD FOR WORD. I didn't change any part of those 2 posts. Some people may not know Theo so here is the link to his blog... Theo Fenraven on Wordpress He has published MANY books as well as edited many more. He knows what he's talking about.
If you're like me you constantly ask yourself if you're doing it right. You wonder how it is you can learn to be better, to not only love writing but be good at it.
I hope this is as helpful for you as it is for me. I want to thank Theo for allowing me to copy this and share it with all of you.
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