Featured Guest: SJ York~ Holidays, Romance, LGB & Trans

Diverse Reader is so incredibly happy to have SJ York here with us today. This guest post is so important and the awareness is vital! Please be sure to check the entire post out and be giving for the holidays.

Holidays, Romance, LGB & Trans by SJ York

The holidays are a great time to see friends and family, enjoy age-old traditions, experience childhood, and have a great time reliving the past. For some trans people, holidays may not be a wonderful time. Family shuns those in the LGBT community, leaving them alone when they should be celebrating. But like most outcasts, trans people make their own families.

The writing community has been the space to be me. Though I didn’t come out for a while because of fears of discrimination and the lack of acceptance trans people face, I was allowed to be weird in the writing world. Though the road has not been smooth or full of fluffy bunnies, there are some great people in the MM writing community who have been wonderful. I’m blessed to have my tribe and know they have my back.

Unfortunately, many in the trans community face outright hostility. People they knew before they transitioned don’t even say hello to them when they meet on the street or at conferences. They are shunned because they are showing the world who they are. Transitioning has nothing to do with anyone other than the person transitioning, however many take it upon themselves to punish the person transitioning by creating lies about them, gossiping, trashing, and otherwise making their lives hell. That’s why it so important during the holidays to remember transgender folk are people too. They aren’t transitioning for any reason other than to be true to themselves. If you have a little extra, give some to a great trans organization like the National Center for Transgender Equality, or the Transgender Law Center. There is also The Trevor Project. And if all you can do is share information about these great organizations, then share wide and far. Thank you, SJ York

You can find me at https://www.facebook.com/AuthorSaraYork/

 Or on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Sara-York/e/B007E9CALC

I'm Sorry... Let Me Introduce Myself

Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents told you they weren’t mad they were just disappointed? And for some reason the disappointment was way worse than the anger? Yeah. That was me too.  I’ve disappointed people in the LGBTQ community unintentionally. And it really was unintentionally.

 Those who know me know my heart but I forget sometimes that to some I’m a blank canvas and my actions and my words paint a picture of who I am. Well, some saw the picture I was meaning to paint and others saw an ugly side and I can’t be okay with that because that’s not me. I want to take a moment to get VERY real with all of you. Real in a way only few people know. 

You need to understand something, and this is really hard for me to actually admit and I also realize that this is part of the problem. In a place that opened its arms to me in warm welcome are seeing a stranger when they look at me. I am an ally. But I’m also a bisexual woman. There, I’ve said it. I have never said those words on a public forum in my life. And it’s terrifying.

Why am I telling you now? Because you all need to hear it. You need to know the hurt is also my own. In my attempt to try to end infighting I disappointed people I genuinely look up to and have found as mentors. People who I have tried to support to the fullest. I failed in my support the other day with my blog post. It wasn’t just an Oops I did it again mistake. It genuinely hurt people. People I love. And I just can’t have that.

Did I know the whole story? No I didn’t and that was my fault. That’s a huge thing I’ve noticed in SM to begin with. We don’t ever know the entire story. We react. Oh look at me, I reacted. Exactly what I told everyone not to do. 

I also made people think I was telling them how to feel. Well, yeah if someone told me to calm the fuck down and I shouldn’t feel hurt I’d lose my mind. But that is what I did didn’t I? I never meant to.

Plain and simple, I fucked up. I own that. I’m not about to delete my original blog post because those are words I said and though I do feel that infighting needs to stop I think the how is the focus. But I don’t know HOW to change the way things are so my words shouldn’t be the Holy and all knowing.

My words came from exhaustion and I thought I was giving hope. But I was failing my family and that makes my heart hurt a lot. 

I am sorry. Deeply and irrevocably sorry that I hurt anyone. You’ve embraced me from day one and I’m sure the announcement of my bisexuality won’t change how any of you view me at all.

I do not support the hurtful words of the latest conflict. They hurt me as well. I promise to be a voice in this community and know my facts before I speak. And I promise not to give up on any of you. I hope you don’t give up on me but should you choose to, I respect your choices.

BLOG POST: Infighting... Again? Really?

I’m gonna say something over the latest “in house fighting” in this community. Because of course, I am. I wonder if there was a pool going on over how long it would take for Meredith to speak up??? I want 20%. I’m not here to start shit but I most likely will. But it’s instances like this that make me want to say, “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to show you what you’re doing and how it’s affecting the “neutral people.” Here it goes.

(WARNING: I’m so all over the place with my emotions over this that you’ll have to keep up with the twists and turns)

When this genre is fighting together we are a beast. I’m never prouder of this community than in moments like that. When we lock arms and march on together in unity. And then, like 2 beta fish stuck in a bowl, we turn on each other and fight to the death. AGAINST EACH OTHER. And it is moments like those that make me want to pack my bags and bid a fond farewell to this genre. This community is suffocating in its own hypocrisy. YOU ARE LOSING FANS, READERS, AUTHORS, ALLYS, BLOGGERS. Most importantly you’re losing your humanity and it makes me weep!

Fucking Hell! I’m half angry half sad over it all! And I’m quickly reaching the end of my rope with all of it. You can’t tell people how they are supposed to feel! I’m sorry you can’t. You don’t like Mpreg or GFY I’m sorry! But to tell others who do that they are wrong, that’s a shitty thing to do. However, it’s your right to say how it makes YOU feel. But don’t bash others who see it differently.

Apologies. When someone apologizes on social media (which by the way is a horrible way to decipher emotion) you can’t tell them “I don’t feel your apology.” I mean You CAN but it’s shitty to do so.

Understanding. You have to respect that you may say something that will hurt someone and take responsibility for that. Eat crow. Ignore it, and that’s a crappy thing to do. 

I watched in the last 24 hours this community light fires, burn dreams, destroy hearts. I watched readers (((READERS))) say, “I’m out. I’m done with this genre.” Wonder why sales are down? Look around. PEOPLE ARE LEAVING! 

Wake up, people! Have we forgotten how to be adults? Have we forgotten how to talk privately with someone who offends us and try to educate them with kindness and understanding? We read and react. We try to gather soldiers for battle. It’s like a scene out of Braveheart. In it, you may not see but to someone like me who actually is neutral in this “newest” argument it kills me. It makes me second guess a lot of feelings I THOUGHT I had about certain people. 

Did you all know I’m writing a book? Yeah, that’s my big project I’ve been working on. And I’m not sure I want to publish it anymore. I’m not sure I can in this genre. This makes me want to wipe the slate clean and start over and find a haven of acceptance. Why? Because I no longer feel safe that my opinions and my feelings are accepted. HERE. In the LGBT community that so beautifully opened its arms to me 3 years ago. I feel defeated, sad, angry, and listless. 

PLEASE. STOP. If you don’t then all we have worked for. ALL we have built will be for nothing. The foundation will crumble. The structure will fall. And on the ashes of what once was, we will cry, we will regret, and it will be too late.

EDUCATE people don’t bash them. EMBRACE them don’t push them away. Don’t JUST react. THINK! 

Unfriend or unfollow me if you wish. Honestly, I’m so close to shutting it all down it’s not even funny. I’m so exhausted. 

LOVE EACH OTHER… PLEASE!