I've never been one of those people who come home, turn on the news and check out what is going on in the world. Growing up if there was something I needed to know I depended on my parents to tell me. As an adult with three kids my focus is, are they safe, healthy and happy?
A lot of what's going on in the news these days is unavoidable. Sign in to your Facebook, Twitter or other social media and it's laid out for you. You can't hide from it... even though you want to.
In my 34 years I have lived through things I hope my children never have to. I pray to whoever is listening for peace. A peace that most of us know will never come.
In my world it was never bad. It never hit close to my home but it didn't mean it wasn't scary. The biggest jolt to my heart was 9/11. My place of birth, a city that forever will own me. A hop, skip and a jump from where I lived. I wasn't married nor did I have kids at the time but the fear for our future was great.
From that moment on we were at war. But we are always at war aren't we? Always fighting something. Never appreciating what we have. A world destined to fall. We can't unite because we don't know how. Those who seek peace to save ourselves are so few, they are but specks on a map.
Still, even the peace seekers fight.
Everything I had left for hope was shattered with the shooting at Sandy Hook. An elementary school not 15 minutes from my home. 27 lives ended that day. 25 of them children my daughter's age. As I played in my youngest child's playgroup my phone vibrated. My friend all the way in Louisville, KY with evident fear in her voice asked me, "What school do your kids go to?" It was the longest day of my life.
Now, none of my kids went or go there, but that didn't stop me from the fear that was suffocating me.
That day and every day after that, police cars are always present when I drop off and pick up my kids. Children have lockdown drills, are explained what to do if someone breaks into their school. Where to go in case. What to do, how to act. DRILLS TO SURVIVE SO THEY CAN LEARN!
We live in a world where the job title of teacher is more dangerous than being a police officer. A world where we fight for the right to love. TO LOVE! When did this happen?
We are our own worst enemies. I'll never stop being one of those specks on a map. I'll hope and pray and strive to save humanity in the small way I can.
I'm not wrong to be afraid. None of us are. Will humanity win? Of course it will. But what side of humanity will reign victorious?
I love you all. I love man and woman alike. If I MUST fight in this world than I will fight for the good. The love. I WILL fight for a world that is but a dream.
Someone said once, dreams really do come true. I hope she was right.