BDSM BLOG HOP

As part of the BDSM Blog Hop I am posting about the value of understanding BDSM. It’s a practice that is widely misunderstood.  There is also a contest to win a $10.00 Amazon gift card at the end of the post! Details below :D

We fear what we do not understand. Throughout history people have fought over the fear of what they were told from people who had no idea.

BDSM is one of those subjects that people tend to either gravitate toward or runaway from. Personally, when I don’t understand it, I research it, practice it, and do whatever it takes to make a sound decision on my feelings regarding it.

When I asked people if they even knew what BDSM stood for I was shocked with how few did. BDSM stands for: “bondage and discipline,” “dominance and submission,” and “sadism and masochism.”

I remember first hearing the term and asking my father what it meant. He told me it was deviant, evil and filled with pain. Naturally, as a girl who worshiped her father I thought nothing but the worst about it.

As I grew up I couldn’t help but to wonder why if it was so horrible, so dangerous it was legal. Why had no one stopped it?

I read books, MANY books about it. I learned a great deal. I learned that the word sadism or sadist in the BDSM acronym came from a Frenchman named Marquis de Sade, a philosopher and aristocrat who was ahead of his time. The Catholic Church found his philosophical discourse around sexuality and his erotic writing to be blasphemous and had him imprisoned for 32 years of his life in an insane asylum. Imagine that?  That was of course back in the 18^th century.

Now? It’s different. Though seen in many eyes as an excuse to inflict pain on others for no other reason but for the person doing it. When you dig deeper, when you actually research and learn and listen, it’s so much not that at all!

BDSM isn’t racist. There is no prejudice in the craft. Straight, gay, black, white. Man and man, woman and woman, man and woman. Add a third, maybe a fourth. In the eyes of BDSM EVERYONE wears a blindfold to gender, race and orientation.

The argument that BDSM is dangerous is a valid one. However, anything can be dangerous. Any sexual kink or whatnot can be dangerous if it’s not respected or understood. The slogan safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) came from the BDSM community. Another term used within the BDSM community is RACK: Risk Awareness Consensual Kink. These are terms taken extremely seriously in the BDSM world.

You might walk around a mall one day and see a guy in leather pants, a long beard, and tattoos and immediately assume he’s into the BDSM lifestyle. He might be, and he might not. Most people in the lifestyle actually lead very normal everyday lives. Doctors, Lawyers, Authors even teachers. They aren’t predators. No one is seeking you out to tie you to a Saint Andrew’s cross and flog you into submission.

Finding your match (D/s) is no different than finding your mate. You need to mesh, you need to work. In BDSM the number one thing… what needs to be achieved before anything else is trust. Without trust there is no link to connect.

BDSM is about pleasure. Levels of it. No one is the same. Where one likes a lighter side to it such as bondage, some blindfolds maybe spankings. Others seek a rougher kind of play with a flogger, a cane or whips.

Does this make people who practice this bad? No, it’s makes them confident. Within the community you are accepted. You know what you want and you can find who it is that will give it to you. TRUST!

D/s is a relationship of respect, trust, pleasure and discipline.

It may not be for you but you aren’t going to get drafted into the lifestyle. But understand it. It deserves respect and if you are not someone who is into that. It’s okay. And if you’re someone who is, that’s okay too!

I am so happy to be a part of this Blog Hop and by clicking on the badge/link you can see ALL the blogs participating in this Hop. Great contests, wonderful insights and even some fantastic reading material by BDSM authors! So be sure to click on the badge J

To enter for a chance to win a $10.00 Amazon gift card simply post a comment below and at the end of the Hop our gracious host will randomly select a winner. Good luck all! 

 

BDSM BLOG HOP CLICK HERE