Friday, October 30, 2015

Sometimes and Just Because

I don't often write blog posts out. This is usually about books, authors, all that awesome jazz. I do this for you. When I say you I mean, if you are reading this than YOU. I love it.

The world (interwebs) sees me on Facebook, Twitter, my blog, wherever in social media as a figure that promotes with in many genres. It's true I do. The major focus being LGBTQ. That is primarily where my readers are, and the authors too.

So blah blah blah what's this post about? I ramble, sorry. It's titled Sometimes and Just because. Why? We'll get there. Keep reading....

We all put on faces in our lives. And I am generally a kind person. I am. I don't like conflict. I avoid arguments if I can help it. I've said this many times but I knew when I became an ally in the LGBTQ community I was going to have to step it up a lot.

I think I'm doing a great job. I think this community, though small, is fierce, strong, brilliant, and creative.

I don't think any of you know how much this community has saved me. Two years ago, in my head, I wasn't in the best place. It was pretty ugly in there. Lots of bad thoughts, and utter loneliness. It took one person to peek through the curtain and say, "Hey, I want you to read something." It was those words that made me read my first M/M book. It was still a rough year. One of the hardest I've ever had to survive.

First came the books, then came the people. (I might name drop... No, I will totally name drop, it happens) My friend Erin became a pillar for me. She lifted me up, probably without even knowing it. She FED me literature that woke me up. It made me smile, laugh, and connect with fictional characters that felt so real it was like they were written just for me. To help me.

AJ Rose, my Jellybean. Her talent is like the galaxy. Limitless. So is her love and friendship. She gave me purpose. "Mere, will you read this and tell me what you think?" I was shocked! She wanted MY opinion? Little old me? She has become a sister to me. And through her came the amazing Kate Aaron. Her wife, also a fabulous and inspiring writer. She is what levels me. She calms my thoughts. Makes me see things rationally.

(( I know all this name dropping.... It's important, you'll see))

When I told Erin, AJ, and Kate I was starting this blog to just say whatever I wanted. I had NO idea it would grow into what it did. This blog expanded my love for this genre and with that came more friends. Now, I love my readers. But there are only a few who get me where I live. They understand. AJ, Kate, Erin. They get it.  Kade Boehme, Wendy, Jenna Kendrick, Felice Stevens. My New York Crew.

We talked forever. Then I hopped a train last April to go to The Rainbow Book Fair where I met them all for the first time. And so #BoozyBrunch was born! This last year I connected with these guys to the point I feel completely comfortable. They don't stifle me. They encourage me to open myself up. They NEVER judge me. These 7 people have impacted my life so much that when I talk about them and tell people so and so wants me to read their book, or so and so wants to hang out, and people ask me why I answer, "Just Because."

Am I still sad, lonely, and depressed? SOMETIMES. But it's not too terribly dark inside my head and it's thanks to all those JUST BECAUSE people.

Sometimes I'm sad. But these 7 people like me Just Because.

This genre fights like a night of twisters. But when it matters we come together. This community saves people. You don't have to be LGBTQ to belong here. You just have to be YOU. Be good. And accept the love it will give you sometimes and just because.

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