One Step Further
Alex Stern has it all; good looks, charm, a job he loves and everyone calls him a friend. He lives life to the fullest at a breakneck pace, in the city that never sleeps. But Alex is also a master pretender; not even his best friend sees the pain that Alex hides so well. Alex himself isn’t sure who he is or what he’s searching for, he only knows that he hasn’t found it yet.As a veterinarian, Rafe Hazelton loves each animal that crosses his path; they don’t care if he stutters a bit or that he prefers men. Their love is unconditional, but his life is still empty; they can only give him so much. New friendships convince him it’s time to break the wall of loneliness he’s hidden behind since childhood and discover what he's been missing.
Alex and Rafe forge a friendship that turns physical, and they both swear that the relationship will last only as long as the fun does. But when old heartaches come to light and secrets hidden for years are revealed, Alex and Rafe discover if they accept what’s in their hearts and take it one step further, the greatest reward is waiting for them in the end.
BONUS SCENE
The day dawned
sharp and clear, the bright blue of the sky rivaling the ocean. Alex Stern
stood out on the weathered deck and sipped his coffee, watching his friends,
Micah and Josh taking turns tossing a Frisbee to their dog, Lucky. Her tail
wagging like an out of control metronome, she splashed through the waves,
sending up a watery, rainbow spray into the sunlight.
Life was good. His
classes were finished, he had the love of his life sleeping inside the house
and his mother, healthy once again, sat on the beach with Micah and Josh’s
grandmothers enjoying the cool, salty air coming off the Atlantic Ocean. Under
the shade of a huge umbrella the twins, Rebecca and Jacob, sat in their
portable playpen, playing with their toys.
“Everything okay?’
Alex turned from
the beautiful ocean vista to a much more welcome vision; Rafe, clad only in his
boxers, his hair tousled from sleep, leaned against the doorway. As always, the
sight of him sent a rush of emotions through Alex he couldn’t explain if he
tried; it was the ache of want, the joy of knowing someone loved him for who he
was. Acceptance, home, peace.
Rafe gave him that
and so much more.
“It’s perfect now
that you’re awake and here with me.” Alex set his mug on the railing and joined
Rafe, pulling him close to rest his lips in Rafe’s hair. Everything clicked
into place when he held Rafe and after the dream he had last night, he needed
grounding.
“You were up so
early.” Rafe tipped his head back, his golden-brown eyes kindling with warmth
and laughter. “I missed your usual morning wake up call.”
Alex slid his
hands up Rafe’s back, loving the play of the sleek muscles and heated skin.
Normally he was the first one awake and there was nothing he liked more than
giving Rafe an early-morning blow job to start the day. Today was different and
he only hoped he could recapture what had happened to him overnight.
“Come sit with
me,” he said, taking Rafe by the hand and leading him to the chaise lounge
chairs on the deck that overlooked the beach and ocean. “I had a dream I wanted
to tell you about.”
Puzzled, Rafe
complied and sat next to him, entwining their feet together. “Was it
upsetting?”
Alex slipped his
arm around Rafe, settling him against his chest and drawing him close. “Not at
all. I don’t understand it though. Maybe you can tell me what it meant, since
you have that special insight.”
Rafe smiled. “I
don’t have any special insight, Alex.”
“Sure you do. You
always know when I’m tired, or hungry or when I want sex.” He grinned. “My
needs may be basic but you can always tell.”
Shaking his head,
Rafe laughed out loud. “Alex. You ALWAYS want sex, you love to eat and school
sucked the life out of you. It’s not too difficult.”
“Well, yeah, but
you’re the one who takes care of it all.” He nudged Rafe. “Work with me, baby, I’m
complimenting you.”
“All right, thank
you.” Rafe kissed him, his lips curving in a smile. “Continue, then. Tell me.”
“I had a dream.
About Seth.” His toes played with Rafe’s and he laced their fingers together,
needing that connection. It had been years since he dreamed of Seth with such
vivid clarity. Alex could swear he was awake and Seth sat next to him on his
bed, like he did when they were young.
“Oh baby.” Rafe
lay his head on Alex’s chest.
“He spoke to me
and told me now that I’m at peace, he could rest easier. That knowing I had you
with me, made his ultimate journey one of beauty and love.” Alex blinked
against the sting of his tears. “Seth told me you were the one for me and he
was glad that going forward, love would always be present in our lives. That no
matter where we went, people would recognize our love.”
“That’s beautiful,
Alex.” Rafe’s warm breath whispered over Alex’s skin. “One of my biggest
regrets in life is that I was never lucky enough to meet Seth. But to know he
lives on in your heart is enough for me.”
“Both of you
reside there, baby. Remember your ring’s inscription? The other half of my heart. You own the whole thing, but when
you’re away from me, that ring is a symbol of the part of me that goes with
you.” He played with Rafe’s hair, sliding his fingers through the silky
strands. “And part of Seth is with you too, watching over you.”
Ever the emotional
one, Alex felt the wetness of Rafe’s tears against his skin. “Oh Alex that’s
beautiful. And I’m honored that Seth is with me. I like to think we would’ve
been friends.”
Alex’s heart
squeezed in his chest. While he could never stop missing his twin brother,
loving Rafe had eased the pain of his loss. Having his mother back in his life
and her unwavering love for both him and Rafe almost made him whole again. All
that remained was for him and Rafe to get married and start the family they
both so desperately wanted.
The squeals of the
twins from below brought him out of his musing. Still holding hands, he and
Rafe stood and peered over the deck to see a wet Lucky shaking herself off next
to the playpen, sending a shower of water over the babies. Their giggles and
Lucky’s barking broke his and Rafe’s introspective mood and they waved at Micah
and Josh.
“Come down,”
called Josh. “We’ve got the radio on down here. The Court’s decision on
marriage equality is coming down any minute.”
Immediately, Alex
recalled Seth’s voice last night, as clear and strong as if he was issuing a
decision himself.
“No matter where you go, people will recognize
your love, Alex.”
Rafe called back.
“We’ll be down in a minute as soon as we get dressed.”
Alex put his arms
around Rafe and yelled back down, “Make that two minutes, at least.”
He could hear
Micah laughing as Rafe groaned and kissed his cheek. “Incorrigble.”
* * *
*
Granted, it was
closer to forty five minutes before he and Alex joined the rest of their family
down at the beach, but Rafe wasn’t complaining about being late. How could he
when he had Alex inside him, crying out how much he loved Rafe?
Lucky bounced
around them for a minute only to race down the beach, barking her head off,
chasing after the seagulls. Even an animal has to be lucky, Rafe thought. And
no animal was more cherished than Lucky for sure.
The night Josh
found Lucky and brought to the clinic had so many far-reaching ramifications
they could never have forseen at the time—he met Josh and thus Alex; Josh
realized how much he wanted Micah and Micah began a journey of self discovery
that broke through his cold exterior, allowing him to love Josh. Each of them
recognized how special Lucky was to them, and spoiled her no differently than
one of the twins.
“What took you so
long, Alex?” Micah’s smile flashed white in his deeply tanned face as he teased
his friend and Rafe’s heart warmed to the sight of the two best friends
laughing with each other.
Micah and Josh had
bought this house in Quogue last year and loved coming out for the summers with
their grandmothers. The ladies loved the beach and now that they had the twins
with them, their family was complete.
Rafe wanted that.
He twisted the ring on his finger that Alex gave him when he proposed. He
couldn’t wait to get married and start a family. He knew Alex’s mother loved
coming here; she enjoyed spending time with Ruth and Ethel and was already like
a third grandmother to the babies.
And much as he
loved Micah and Josh’s twins, he longed for children of his own. Rafe ached to
hold his child and give him or her all the love he never received growing up.
His only wish was one that could never come to fruition—that his parents could
have lived to see him grown, happy and in love. But Rafe firmly believed in his
heart they would have loved him no matter that he was gay, and therefore would
have loved Alex and any children they would have together.
That’s why this
court decision was so important to them all. To know that he and Alex could
travel anywhere in their own country and not be thought of as second class
citizens, as separate but equal, was what he and the countless others worked so
hard to achieve.
All his life Rafe
had put up with the taunts and teasing that he was too emotional for a real
man, that real men don’t cry. But Rafe had lived a hundred lives since then,
and he knew that was proven wrong. And labels of any kind were cruel; there was
always an inherent negativity attached to them.
What made him any
less of a man because of whom he loved?
“Raphael,
sweetheart, come here for a moment.” Josh’s grandmother pointed to the space on
the blanket next to her chair. A table had been set up where a radio sat, tuned
to the news waiting for the moment when the decision would be announced. A
pitcher of iced water sat, beads of moisture condensing on the outside and
rolling down the cool glass sides.
Rafe dropped down
on the blanket in between Ruth, who smiled and Ethel who cocked her head and
peered at him through her glasses.
“We haven’t had a
chance to talk. How are you and dear Alex doing? I can’t tell you enough how
happy we are that you two have found each other. I always said, love will find
a way.”
Josh joined him,
holding his daughter who immediately began to squirm and reach her chubby arms
out for Rafe. “Do you mind?”
Was he kidding?
“I’d be thrilled; I love babies.” He took Rebecca in his lap where she sighed
contentedly and cuddled into his arms. If ever the word melted applied, it was
now. Rafe was nothing but a big melty pile of goo, holding this little girl.
“Well that’s
obvious since you’re marrying an overgrown child.” That was from Micah who
handed Ruth a glass of cold water. “Ouch.” He turned to glare at Alex, who had
smacked him on the back of his head. The two of them broke out in laughter and
began to fake wrestle in the sand.
“Now now,
children,” teased Josh. He turned his
attention back to Rafe. “Do you find it hard to keep them under control?”
“It’s always the
oldest ones who are the hardest to control, I’ve discovered.”
Alex joined him on
the blanket, while Micah sat next to Josh. Alex’s mother, Dolores picked up
baby Jacob and brought him over so they were all sitting on the blanket
together. Other than his co-worker, Jenny who was with her husband and own
child, this was Rafe’s world, his nucleus. Everyone he loved was right here
with him.
Rafe’s heart
overflowed with happiness; the little sandpipers were beautiful, the endless
stretch of water infinite and mysterious. Even the seagulls with their raucous
screeches played their part. Lucky raced back to join them, bored of chasing
the waves and the birds to flop down, and lie panting on the sand. Josh poured
her a fresh bowl of water which she slurped down noisily.
“We interrupt this
broadcast to bring you this special report from Washington D.C. the Supreme
Court has just handed down its decision in the case of Obergefell v. Hodges.”
No one spoke; for
once even the babies and Lucky were quiet. Rafe’s heart pounded and Alex took
his hand and squeezed it tight, then laced their fingers together.
“The Supreme Court has struck down state
bans on gay marriage and has ruled, in a 5-4 decision, that same sex marriage
is a constitutional right.”
Further down the
beach, Rafe could hear the faint cheers of the other people who must have also
heard the news.
“It’s over, thank
God.” Dolores spoke, her voice wavering. “The fight is over. Now you can always
love freely.”
Sweet and naive,
Rafe thought.
Alex kissed his
head and gave his mother a sad smile. “No, Mom. This is just the beginning. We
have won the battle but the war for acceptance is far from over. Until we are
free to love unequivocally and without fear of losing our jobs, our homes and
our children, we have to continue to fight.”
“Well no fighting
now,” said Ethel, raising her glass. “I’m all about the loving.”
Rafe kissed the
now sleeping Rebecca’s head and handed her to Micah. The little angel had slept
through the most momentous occurrence in her parent’s lifetime, and hopefully
would grow up in a world more tolerant of her parents’ love.
“Alex. Let’s get married right away. What are
we waiting for?” He nudged Alex’s tanned thigh next to his on the blanket. “We
already have the license.”
And what he also
loved the most was this man, who filled his heart with music and love and more
life and hope than he thought possible.
“I’m one step
ahead of you, baby. While you were in the shower this morning I called up my
friend whose father is a judge. They own the house down he beach and this
evening he’s coming over to marry us.”
Growing up, Rafe
didn’t think he deserved happiness and hid behind his stutter and shyness.
Meeting Alex, falling in love and getting drawn into his joyful presence opened
Rafe’s eyes to all life had to offer and how he deserved not only to grab the
brass ring but to catch it and hold it tight.
“I love you,
Alex.”
Family, born of
blood or born of choice. He’d never be alone again with Alex at his side.
All you need is
love.
Where to Buy
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